Gratitude

Gratitude.  What is gratitude?  On google it says gratitude is: "the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."  That's great and all, but what does it mean in your own words?  For me, I have learned the meaning of gratitude in the past three weeks.  Being happy where you are and what you are doing at the moment.  Realizing that your circumstances can change in the blink of an eye.  And if they do change, still being happy with the cards that you have been dealt in this life.
Many things have been going on in my life. Yes, I am at that young adult life, where everything seems so important, but at the same time the overwhelming importance of it all makes everything unimportant. Because if everything is a big deal, then nothing has precedence over the others. Anyways, I have realized that there are so many things that happen to us that are completely out of our control.  The actions and choices of others have an affect on us, and there is nothing we can do to change that.  But, what we can do is to remain grateful for the good things that we have and to stay hopeful about the future. 

I have learned that heartbreak is inevitable in this life.  Same with growing up, taking on responsibility, making mistakes, etc, etc. ...But, isn't that why we made the choice to come here to Earth? To be tested and become stronger. As I was reading my scriptures, I read D&C 121 and 122. If you are going through difficult times or feel like you don't understand why bad things are happening to you, think of Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, and take comfort in the words that he received,

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." -D&C 121:7-8

We must go through hard times in order to become stronger. I am sure that many of us have heard the saying that goes something like, "The more trials that God gives you, the more He trusts you and is molding you into who you are meant to become."  Take a second to really think about this saying. Think back on some of the major trials of your life... how did you survive them?  Did it make you a better person?  I sure hope so. I think back to a major misfortune that happened to me in high school, and I remember all of the sadness, but I also remember how strong my testimony grew and how much closer I became to my Heavenly Father.  The events of our life shape us into who we become, and when we go through hard times, we must become better and stronger, not giving up and becoming weaker.  There are so many examples in the scriptures of people going through trials that we can learn from.  Think of Job, Joseph Smith, and think of your Savior Jesus Christ. He truly understands what you are going through. He felt the pain that you bear, and He died for us that we may live again.  The atonement is an amazing thing.  It heals people, strengthens them, and gives us courage to go on.  We have so much to be grateful for!

Now you may remember that google's definition of gratitude says, "to return kindness". This ties in with charity. Being grateful for all that you have is good, but how are you going to show your gratitude?  By serving others. Being readily available to the promptings of the Spirit telling you when someone needs your help. Charity is the pure love of Christ, right?  We hear this all the time, but do you really understand what it is saying?  About a month ago, my brother, who is on a mission, sent me a challenge to ponder the scriptures about charity and be committed to service.  To be honest, when he challenged me this, I thought, "You have to be kidding me.  This is the worst time he could ask me to do something like this."  But, it was actually the best time he could ask me to do that.  To look outside of yourself and pay attention to the needs of others is a hard skill, but there is so much joy that comes from service.  I prayed that I could feel that pure love of Christ towards others and to see them as He sees them.  Everyone is going through tough times.  They may put on a brave face, but everyone has their own trials.  It is such an uplifting feeling to forget about your own trials and help others, and through that service, you gain that pure love for others.

Remember, no matter what you are going through, there is much to be grateful for and much service to do!  Turn to the Gospel and you will live a brighter and more hopeful life.  The future is a bright as your faith!

Those Days

Sometimes I realize that it is inevitable to have one of "those days" or even one of "those weeks".  This last week I've felt...well weird.  This semester has been pretty good.  I've accomplished a lot and I got into a great routine.  But, this last week, I've been off.  I've felt massive amounts of stress with school, money, future decisions, etc.
Planning your future is impossible.  If I could add up the amount of time I've spent trying to figure out my future, I would be shocked.  I heard a quote once that I loved.  It goes, "Humans make plans, and God laughs."  It seems like the more I try to figure out my life, the more confused I become.  I so badly want to have a career that makes me happy, but I also realize that I need a degree in something that has job prospects.  I play this game of tug-a-war with myself constantly.  I want to make the right decision.  I wish that God would directly guide my life to where I need to be.  It's so hard when He tells me that I need to make my own decisions and learn from them.  I am all for making mistakes and growing from those, but it's so much pressure.
This last week I've been trying to figure out jobs, how I am going to pay for school, what schooling and career path I should follow, where I should live, etc. and I am so worn out and unmotivated from it all.  It's hard to decipher what you want to do from what you should do.  It's hard to decide which dreams are attainable and which dreams need to be abandoned as you grow up.  And, when you make these decisions, you have to do it for yourself.  Others will tell you what you should do, but you can't listen to them.  You have to do what is going to be right for you.

Answers

God knows all.  I am constantly amazed at how He directs my life, and gives me assurance when I need it the most.  There has been a lot going on lately, and I have been so busy with everything, that sometimes I forget how important He is to me.  All throughout my life, whenever I have had a hard decision to make, He has given me little signs about what I should do.  For the past couple of months I've been contemplating a big decision, and asking for what I should do.  I had almost given up hope on if I would ever get a solid answer.  I decided to make a decision, and pray for strength to know if what I chose was right.  As always, I got confirmation about what I should do.  I am so relieved to have the Gospel in my life.  These past two weeks I have been reminded of how important the Gospel is to me and has always been.  People and things will come and go, but my Heavenly Father is always there for me.  I've been lucky enough to live a fortunate life and have a family that is always by my side.  I don't know what I would do without them.  I am hopeful for the future, and ready to see where life will take me. God is good and will always be there for you when everyone else is turning their backs on you.  Believe, hope, and let Him in your life!

Learning and Growing

This weekend during Fall Break I had the opportunity to go to GLW, which is a Greek Leadership Weekend in Bear Lake.  It was one of the best experiences that I have had, and it left me in a contemplative mood.
Sometimes, we fall short and judge people based on their stereotypes or who they hang out with.  But, we have no right to judge people that we don't know.  This weekend I realized that people are so much more accepting and open than you think.  You just need to give them a chance.  Let down your own walls, and try.  Some people still might not let you in, but you will be surprised at how many people will.  Don't be so worried about the stupid little things, and just go forward and be yourself.  You have nothing to lose.  You will much more regret not trying & never knowing, than trying and being rejected.
Remember that everyone is human.  We all have faults and we all make mistakes.  But, we also all have so much to offer to each other if we will be open and accepting of one another.  Life is exciting and fun!  When you get burned, keep going.  You will learn from it and get stronger.  And, in the end, if you give it your all, you will be happy and find peace knowing that you have done everything you can.

What a Wonderful Life

Hello all!

It has been a while since I have posted about my life and what I've been doing.  This past spring semester at USU was amazing! Simply the best semester of my life. Once again, I started spring semester with a 19 credit schedule, hoping that I could make it through.  And I definitely made it through.  Grade-wise, I did alright, but more importantly, I was enjoying life so much more.  I got more involved in activities and decided to spend more time doing things I enjoyed, like going to the gym.  Let me say, in the past, I have hated running.  I never understood how it could be fun or enjoyable, but as the semester went on and I would go to the gym and make myself run on the treadmill, I began to really enjoy it.  I'm grateful that I have been able to realize how fun and beneficial running can be! 
The most important thing that made my semester amazing was the people surrounding me.  Being apart of Kappa Delta has changed me.  The first semester of school at USU was alright, but nothing great.  Spring semester, I tried going to more activities in Kappa Delta, and it made all the difference.  I have heard the saying, "The more you put into something, the more you get out of it."  It seems pretty easy to understand, right?  Well, it took me awhile to figure this out, but now I do.  As I took time to get more involved in KD, I became a lot happier.  I began to realize how important all of these sisters were to me and my friendships with these girls began to grow.  I also had some amazing roommates surrounding me.  We would stay up til crazy hours just talking around the kitchen table, and I loved it.  It was a wonderful feeling to have so many great and supportive people in my life. 
I was also able to dance again during this semester.  Kappa Delta was part of a step & hip hop night, so we spent many nights practicing for that.  Step was pretty cool to learn, and as always, hip hop was my favorite.  I also got to be in a guest artist hip hop dance for the school dance companies.  Having dance back in my life made everything even better!  It was so much fun performing again. I love learning dances, but being able to perform in front of people is one of the most exciting parts for me.

The semester ended, and even though I wasn't ready to leave, I decided to come home for the summer.  This summer has been work, work, work.  I am working at two jobs right now, so my life is crazy.  Somedays I leave the house in the morning and don't get home until 9:30 that night, going from one job to the next. It has been good though, because I should have enough money after this summer to pay for school this upcoming year.
Even with the craziness, I have been able to do fun things this summer.  I ran my first half marathon, which was such an accomplishment to me. I also did a 10K and 5K.  I cannot explain how much I love running, and the great feeling of accomplishment running a race can be! I got to go to a Real Soccer Game with my family, and my brother got recognized during half time.  I went to Seven Peaks with a close friend and we were able to catch up. I went to the Great Gatsby opening night with some friends.  My big got home from Africa, and we got together and she showed me all of her pictures and told me all about her travels.  One of my best friends just got home from his mission in Russia, and I'm excited to hear all about it. So, even being super busy, I've still been able to do other things during the summer.

As I write all of this, I am amazed at how fast the summer has gone.  I am already half way through the summer.  It's crazy to me! As crazy as it is, I am excited to move back to Logan in the fall.  I miss the atmosphere and people there. I will be living in our sorority house, which is going to be so much fun.. and it's right on campus. I am so happy to be apart of a great Greek Community!  It really makes all the difference! I am excited for the classes I get to take.  As I get closer to graduating, the classes definitely get harder, but they are more interesting and related to what I want to do.  Soon enough I will be back in Logan, and I can't wait to see what the school year will bring! 

 Kappa Delta Spring Formal

 Color Festival

SigEp Banquet

Working Concessions

Kappa Delta Mom's Day

SigEp Angels and Demons

Kappa Delta Step & Hip Hop

Kappa Delta Shamrock

End of year concert

Roomies

Future Roomies

Half Marathon

The Great Gatsby Group

Seven Peaks

Real Soccer Game

Reminiscing

As I was laying in my bed this morning before I had to go to work, I was reminded of my summer last year.  I remembered being in Peru sleeping on that top bunk.  I remembered the bright street light that always shone through the square opening in the top of the wall.  That light always kept me awake during the night.  I remember the one dog that would never stop barking during the night. I always wondered if it was barking at something going on in the streets, or just barking to be heard.  I remember walking.  Everywhere we went we walked all the time.  I remember the constant sand and crickets.  No matter where you went, they were with you.  No way to rid yourself or your belongings of sand or crickets.  I remember the ten minute battle I had trying to get a cricket out of my bag.  I remember Tottus (the grocery store we went to), El Mercado (the street market), Chalan (the ice cream we always got), and La Primavera (the street we lived on). I remember the food and our most humble cook.  I remember the beauty of the language and culture.  I remember seeing and experiencing things I had never thought I would experience. But most of all, I remember the people I met.  How wonderful these people are.  I realize how different my life would be had I not met them.  They taught me so many things.  They taught me a sense of gratitude that I otherwise would not be able to understand.  They taught me how to accept people as they are.  They taught me to love those that you don't know. They taught me to accept life as it is and be happy with what your current situation is.  As I think back on the little everyday things that I did in Peru, I realize that is what I miss the most.  Many times when I think back on my journey, it seems unreal, as if I didn't really live it, I simply watched a movie or read a book about a girl experiencing what I did.  But today, I am strongly reminded of it all.  Many times, I feel a deep longing to go back.  Hopefully someday I will get to go back, but until then, I can remember.  And remember I will, becasue my time in Peru will always remain apart of me.

Goodbye 2012

2012 has come and gone, and what a year it has been!  I am so grateful for everything that I have done in my life to get me to where I am now.  I look back on the year, and realize how much I did during just one year.  I may not have completed my resolutions (to be honest, I can't even remember what they were), but I am so happy with everything that I have learned in the past year.  Here's a quick 2012 year in review :)

January: I finally gave up on the blonde hair, and went back to dark.  The hardest semester in school started, and I thought I would never make it through.  One of my best friends, Mariah Whitten VanOrden, got married and I got to go see her.  It had been years since I'd seen her, and it was so exciting! Seeing her with her husband gave me a refreshed hope that someday I will be able to find a guy and be as happy as they are.  I also went with my family indoor skydiving, indoor "surfing", and indoor rock climbing all in the same day.  That was such a blast!

February & March: These months were busy as ever, and I spent most of my time studying for my anatomy class.  I can't believe how much work that class was, and with my 19 credits, I barely had time for anything besides school and work.  For the Honors Program at UVU, we had a Zombie Prom that was great.  We all dressed up as zombies, and it was a huge dance party.  Before the blink of an eye, these two months passes.


April: One of the most difficult and best months.  The end of school was nearing, so finals were majorly stressful!  But, after I was done, I was able to graduate from UVU with my Associate's Degree.  The best part of this month was when my hip hop class did an outside performance one night.  My hip hop and jazz class were the only classes that had kept me sane during the semester, and it was so exciting to be able to perform hip hop again in front of an audience!

May: This month I had my last competition with Maximum Dance, and it was great!  I still remember those dances that we learned last year, because I had so much fun performing them every time.  I ran the Color Me Rad Race, which was a fun and messy race. :) I spent most of May preparing to leave for Peru. I had to get shots, pack, and be ready!

June & July:  I left for Piura, Peru, and my life was changed.  I had the experience of a lifetime, and I met people that are still apart of my life.  I love the people and the culture there.  It went by so fast, it almost seems like it never happened.  Towards the middle of July I had the opportunity to go to Machu Picchu, which was such an experience!  One of the best parts of the trip was when I got to go inside the Lima, Peru temple and do baptisms for the dead.  That was one of the best and most spiritual experiences that I have had in my life! I learned so much about myself while serving the people of Peru.

August:  I got home from Peru, and I made a very hard decision this month.  I decided to transfer to Utah State University.  The University had a Pre-Physical Therapy major, which was perfect for me.  There were so many pros and cons to transferring.  I had an amazing job at the South Jordan Recreation Center that I would have to give up, and USU does not have a dance program.  But, I also felt like I needed to have a college experience where I was farther away from home so that I wasn't tempted to go home a lot.  I think that being away from your family is a very important part of growing up.  You have to learn independence and for me the best way to do this was to be in Logan.  It was just far enough away, but just close enough at the same time.  So, I moved my stuff up to Logan (with the help of my parents and best friend, Cierra Bell).


September: My classes at USU began, and I joined Kappa Delta Sorority.  Just as I had at UVU, I had to learn all the building names and get used to a new school.  But, I was okay with that, because I love change.  I went to a lot of football games, and I got involved in the strong school spirit that is here.  USU has a great college experience, and I have loved it!  Besides the fact that there aren't enough dance classes, this is an amazing school!

October: I found out Laura Gunnell was my Big (my mentor) was in Kappa Delta, and I was so excited!  I got to help volunteer in a PT clinic for a day, and it was fun to see how great being a PT would be.  My great friend Alexis Parker and I drove down to SLC to watch a men's USU soccer game, and I had such a blast talking with her and watching soccer.  I volunteered at USU's HOWL and the Delta Sig's Haunted House this year with some of my friends, and that was a lot of fun too.

November:  I went with a group of people and my friend, Debbie Stauffer, to Las Vegas, and we ran the Ragnar Race.  This was such a blast, and I want to run Ragnar again! I just need to find people that want to run this year with me.  Kappa Delta had a Dad's Day, where my dad got to come to USU and I showed him around.  We were supposed to go to a USU Basketball game as well, but I had a ballroom performance that night.  And, being the wonderful father that my dad is, he said he would rather watch me dance, so we went to my performance.  For Thanksgiving, I went with my family to Las Vegas where I watched my brothers play tons of soccer games!

December: Studying, studying, studying, finals. And then the fun began! I went home for the break, and I got to hang out with my family and friends.  I went bowling with a bunch of my friends and old co-workers.  My roommates and I had a date night at the temple, and Jake, my date, was great! It was fun to see all the roomies too, because I hadn't seen them in a while.  I made a huge fort with my brothers, and had a wonderful family Christmas.  New Year's Eve, my friends and I made cheese and chocolate fondus, and it was super delicious!

WOW!! That was long, and I know there are still many things that I left out.  Anyways, looking back on the year has been great.  One of the most important parts of life is the people around you.  I am so luck to have people in my life that care about me and that I care about.  I have met so many people in 2012 that I can't picture my life without.  2013 is going to be even better, and I can't wait to see what the year brings!! :)